July 23, 2013– I received the most chilling text from my friend, Greta this afternoon. Just talking about it makes my knees quiver. She and her sister, Gladys were outside minding their own business poking through flower pots and kicking back topsoil for worms, when a massive Herculean dog rushed onto the property with his four-legged wingman and pounced on them! Imagine! The big dog picked Gladys up in his mouth ready to swallow her whole, as his buddy had poor Greta, a gentle Delaware, within the odorous clench of his jaw. Beastly hooligans of terror! A neighbor heard the commotion and rushed to their defense. The dogs dropped the hens but not before Gladys lost a few of her lovely tail feathers. Gladys thinks she was a target since its summer and she’s a “Hamburg”, but Greta said that they’re simply dogs who run with the wrong pack. Delinquents, they are! The girls were so shook up that both required the assistance of a scrunched up paper bag in order to reclaim what was left of their nerves. I texted Greta back, “Forget the paper bags! Whip up a batch of piña coladas and leave out the fruit juice!” I’m going to send them each a colander helmet and arrange for some protection. Meanwhile, my “acquaintance”, Benny the Boomerang, is going to have a little chat with the canines. Nobody messes with my friends! Predator talk jumbles my nerves! As a sign of solidarity, I’m going to whip up a piña colada for myself.
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