November 9, 2013 – My friend Vivienne, the farm pig from Mrs. Turner’s place, wandered by today for a visit. She said that she would have been by sooner in the week (since she left the farm on Wednesday and now here it is on Saturday), but she kept finding interesting things to eat along the way. We had such a fun day! Viv showed us how to fill water balloons with Jello and then catapult them into trees. I borrowed Mom’s van at the end of the day to take her back home. Sawyer and I are getting really good at driving. Thank goodness it was dark when we left, because we passed a police car that was parked on the side of the road trying to catch speeders. I was very careful to stay under 10 MPH. I’m not sure what the officer would have done if he knew the van was being driven by two chickens with a pig as a passenger. I don’t have any sort of identification to even tell him who we are or where we live. Viv said that without a valid ID, the police could send us to jail in a town called Mexico, Maine and Mom would never know about it or ever see us again. I started to cry. I don’t want to go to jail and never see Mom again. The idea was so sad that I couldn’t concentrate on the road. I thought for sure we were going to be arrested when the car drifted over the center line. I started to hyperventilate and Vivienne had to lean over the front seat with a brown paper bag for me to breathe into. It smelled like donuts.
My knees were knocking by the time we reached Mrs. Turner’s driveway. Sawyer and I jumped out to give Vivienne a big hug before heading back home. I was so shaken up over what Viv told us, that Sawyer had to take the wheel and I worked the pedals. Sawyer can’t see that well at night!
We decided to take the old logging road to avoid running into the police again. It’s a scarier road at night, but since we are outlaws, it’s the road we deserved to be on. Sawyer, God bless her, managed beautifully and got us back home in one piece. The first thing we did when we got inside the coop was to take a full-mouthed swig of moonshine; just enough to settle our nerves and help us fall sleep. Monday morning, we’re heading to the DMV for official licenses! I hope Sawyer passes the eye test!
Just before we dozed off, my cellphone chirped. It was a message from Vivienne, wanting to know that we made it home safely. In the unfortunate event of our arrest, Viv would have made sure that Mom knew all the details so she could rescue us from Mexico. That’s a true friend.