November 19, 2013 – Wilma, of all chickens, came to my defense today. There’s a new hen in town that goes by the name Eloise, and she’s not very nice. She lives in a fancy coop over by Mrs. Turner’s farm. She showed up today with Gertrude the goat and Rosemary the dairy cow, who walked over after lunch for a visit. Gertrude commented about how much she loves our Beaker’s Brew Old Style Draught and Rosemary explained to Eloise that our flock owns the Happy Chicken Brewing Company.
Eloise responded by asking, “Whose idea was it to run a business outside of the nest box?” When my name came up, she spat on the ground! “What a lamebrain!” she laughed sarcastically. “She must be a failure as a hen if she’s concentrating on matters other than eggs!”
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Maybe she was right. Maybe I’m not a very good hen. Wilma didn’t take kindly to Eloise’s comments. She pecked her in the head and then, chased her halfway down the road. When Wilma came back she said, “No one messes with my family. Happy, you’re one of the finest hens I know. You are complex, but that’s what makes you special. Now, go write a poem about yourself or one of those ditty things you do, so you’ll feel better and we’ll call it a day.”
After Gertrude and Rosemary left, Wilma retreated to the henhouse for what I assumed was a well-deserved nap. I found myself a quiet corner of the run and wrote Eloise a poem. (Thank you, Wilma.)
Who Am I?
I am a hen, I am I say!
I just do things the un-hen way.
I lay an egg inside a nest!
I lay an egg, I do my best!
But garner still the backward look, for skills not often linked with chook.
I ride a Vespa, fast and yellow! While other hens are slow and mellow.
I am not reckless, let this be said! (I wear a colander helmet on my head.)
I love adventure, my spirit free! I live to see and be and glee.
I dance! I sing! I impress with scat! I love the dogs but hate the cat!
I manufacture beer and hooch; I bowl, I build, I like to smooch!
Not many hens would drive a car, or keep dead bugs inside a jar.
I invent! Inspire! Pray and hope. I zoom in with a microscope.
Faces, tea-leaves, books, I read; I like to help, I do indeed!
Stamps and snorkels and spaghetti jam, they’re each a part of who I am!
Computer code? I’ve done that, too; though not a chicken thing to do.
You might not think from where I’ve been,
that I would make an awesome hen.
I do hen well! I do I say!
I do it in the “Happy” way.