May 20, 2014 – With all the excitement of late, we haven’t had a day exclusively dedicated to doing what it is that chickens do. So this morning, I got up early, laid my egg, straightened out my science jars filled with bug specimens that I uncovered during my archeological digs and munched on several mosquitos who made the unfortunate decision to land on my head while I was contemplating existence from atop my thinking log. As I was pondering life’s great mysteries – such as the blue canvas from the museum, it occurred to me that I have never ridden an elephant and would very much like to.
Darn! When I was at the library last week, I should have researched if there are elephants in Nova Scotia!
Riding a pachyderm is definitely a vacation activity. Nobody goes on an elephant ride in the middle of a work week. It’s an adventure to be planned. First, you need to meet one. Then, the elephant has to offer to give you a ride. You can’t assume these things or demand access to its magnificent shoulders. Why, that would be like a family of bumblebees thinking they could grab ahold of my comb and yee-hawing it all over the backyard without ever asking me if I’d care to traipse the earth with strangers riding me like a bucking bronco. It simply isn’t done if you have any couth. Chickens are known for their exquisite social sophistication. Therefore, I’ve decided to see if I can strike up a friendship with an elephant. Then, as our friendship blooms over shared interests and values, the elephant will ask me if I’d like to take a ride upon its back and I will graciously accept. For it is not in good manners to decline such a magnanimous offer. As a thank you, I will present my elephant friend with a bouquet of daisies and a handful of hay and I will kiss it on its trunk. My elephant friend will laugh and ask to come live with us and I will say yes – just as soon as my mom builds an elephant barn.