June 19, 2014 – Today, I was an ordinary hen. I plopped an egg out of my lady parts while catching up on the latest issue of Inside Poultry. It’s a celebrity magazine for chickens complete with photographs of famous chooks going about their business, like snatching up grubs from under a log and scratching at dirt in search of worms. I guess superstars want us ordinary chickens to believe that fame hasn’t changed them from their humble beginnings.
Still, it was an entertaining read. I didn’t come across any earth shattering news until I turned to page 27. Then, I almost dropped the magazine! In the middle of a center spread on famous chickens gone bad, was a pictorial timeline illustrating the fall from grace of Dumpling Longfeather. It included her latest arrest in Nova Scotia. I don’t know if an eyewitness or the paparazzi sold pictures to the tabloid, but there it was for millions of fans to see – Dumpling being arrested and put into the back of a police wagon. Holy smokes – it gets better! In the background I could see Wilma pecking an officer in the arm in the middle of being wingcuffed. Charlotte, Addie and Peaches were off to the side, but still visible. Thankfully, the article didn’t mention anyone from our flock by name, unless Wilma wants to adopt the title that the author gave her, “unidentified accomplice”.
My goodness! I am sitting on gold! I think I’ll keep this little nugget to myself until some day when Wilma says something snarky to me. Who knows – maybe then I’ll make a poster-size copy and hang it up over the water station! I’ll need to cut Peaches out of the picture first though – she still isn’t over the ordeal!