July 6, 2014 – Peaches, Sawyer and I went hang gliding today. We hadn’t planned to. Our idea was to climb the giant yoga rock that sits near the grove in the front of the house and have a relaxing picnic. But across the chicken yard, the four youngest hens, Dolly Parton, Kellie Pickler, Dottie and Maisy, were scheming to use the same stone to test the speed of sound. Dottie and Maisy waited behind the smelly bush with a clipboard and stopwatch while the other two scrambled to the peak of yoga rock and leaned on the button to an air horn. Peaches thought she had been shot and fell backwards landing in the duck pool. The ducks thought we were cliff diving and held up score cards. Peaches averaged an 8.5.
The air horn affected me and Sawyer in a slightly different manner. As soon as it went off, Sawyer looked at me and screamed, “FLY” which I did; or at least attempted. Our breed of chicken can’t fly. But the two of us exploded off of that rock with wings outstretched like we had been shot from a cannon. Thank goodness it was windy. We caught a blustery current and soared for several seconds; over the duck pen, over the tomato and pepper plants and over Charlotte and Violet and Addie having tea in the side yard. It was exhilarating! We landed with a perfect “plop” on top of Wilma who was in a chaise lounge next to Coop #3 sunning herself. Wilma was none too pleased with our acrobatic descent, though I thought we stuck it perfectly. I turned back to see how far we had flown. The three ducks and Peaches were standing next to the yoga rock with score cards held high. Four 10s. WHOOO HOOO! That’ll put a kick in your hot sauce.
As for the gang of hoodlums that sent us into the air, they theorized that sound travels fastest when it’s a cuss word bursting out of Wilma’s mouth.