August 9, 2014 – I received a letter in the mail today. It was the second one from none other than Dumpling Longfeather, that dastardly criminal who, under the pretense of friendship, nearly destroyed our flock. She’s in jail serving a lengthy sentence but you’d never know it by her letter. Once again, she’s scouring the world with her evil tentacles to manipulate innocent souls like us into doing her dirty work for her.
“Dearest Happy….” She wrote.
“I know you and your charming family must think I’m horrendous for what I put you all through during your visit to Canada earlier this year. I have no defense for my actions except to say that I have an unquenchable thirst for living life on the edge. Like the old saying goes, eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. I still think we’d make a great team… I even like Wilma! Please write back. “
She signed the letter, “Yours Truly, D.L. “
I fixed her. Last time when she reached out to me, I informed the constable in Nova Scotia. This time, I gave Mom the letter. She used it in the bottom of the parakeet cage. I think that was an appropriate use of contraband.
Oh – and I sent a quick text to our rooster friend, Johnny Four Toes. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from D. L. again. Johnny has a cousin who’s a warden. Dumpling is going to be making license plates until she’s an old bird.