October 14, 2014 – Peaches walked up to me while I was cleaning my piccolo. I’m performing an original piece of music during my solo at dinner tonight, after which we’re having an impromptu talent show. It’s how we roll.
“Can I ask you something?” she said fiddling with a string of pearls around her neck. “Do I look fabulous or delicious?”
“Well…, considering that you’re a chicken, you might want to stick with fabulous.”
She didn’t quite get what I meant, but there was no sense in having “The Talk” with Peaches and giving her nightmares for the rest of her life. Especially since Mom keeps us around for our personalities… and breakfast eggs.
After Peaches left to add another bauble to her costumed attire for the evening, Wilma sauntered in.
“So, Whistle-Face. I need an act for tonight’s particularly pointless show. There’s a huge brouhaha over the fact that some of us would rather be in the audience than on stage. Naturally, I couldn’t give two tail feathers what anyone else thinks, but Addie’s setting me up with a sweet deal with her cousin Petal’s mealworm company, and I don’t want to screw it up. So what do you have for me?”
Was she seriously asking me to come up with an act for her? I knew better than to ignore Wilma or try to dissuade her when her mind was set on something; even if that something was me being her talent agent.
“What about telling a tale from when you were young? Stories about dinosaurs are always fascinating. Or, you could sing a little ditty in that raspy, just-ate-a-lug-nut voice of yours. Better yet, you could perform physical comedy… take a pratt fall, work with a ventriloquist dummy, roll out a vaudeville act. The possibilities are endless!”
“If you were a Mr. Potato Head,” she replied dryly, “I would take your mouth right now.”
Then just like that, she was gone.
“Mr. Potato Head might be extremely humorous,” I called after her.
I can only imagine what she’s going to do when they call her name to the stage.