October 18, 2014 –
Sawyer and I were at Mrs. Turner’s farm today visiting Rosemary and Gertrude. While we were there, a carful of humans pulled up and started snapping flash pictures of Rosemary and the other cows in her herd. They called the girls all sorts of horrible names before getting back into their vehicle and tearing off in a cloud of dust.
Rosemary looked hurt and crestfallen.
“It’s bad enough that they took photos without our consent,” she mooed, “but to insult us as they did? How rude!”
“Don’t let it get to you, Rosie,” I said. “You and your sisters are beautiful. Those fools must be lactose intolerant.”
This made the dairy cow laugh. Rosemary has a terrific smile. Why do people have to be so mean?
“Happy is right,” added Trudy. “Don’t give it another thought. Last week tourists stopped at our fence in the lower pasture and took a picture of me while I was pulling cockleburs out of my tail. Those things are poisonous! I was making sure the kids stayed away from the thickets. Did anyone capture THAT on film?! Two days later I was the Facebook poster for a toilet tissue campaign. Under my image was the caption: Stop pulling crap from your butt. Stay clean with Soft Swipes.”
It was not funny at all, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“It’s not always easy being an animal in a human world,” Sawyer reflected. “Lucky for us, we have moms who love and protect us.”
“True,” Rosemary agreed, “and… truth be told, I’d much rather be a cow than a butterfly.”
“But butterflies are so beautiful!” Trudy exclaimed.
“Yes, but they only live for a day,” said Rosie.
“I think that’s a myth,” Trudy replied.
“No,” said Rosie, “It’s definitely a butterfly.”
Since none of us know the life expectancy of a butterfly, Sawyer suggested that on Monday we go to the library and look it up. I need to research voting regulations anyway, and Sawyer wants to check out a couple of cookbooks.
“You do remember what happened the last time we all went to the library, don’t you?” asked Gertrude.
Indeed I did.
“The library is a community treasure that needs to be accessible to all living things interested in learning. If Eunice has an issue with animals, then it’s high time we desensitize her.”
“…and if that doesn’t work,” laughed Trudy, “we’ll stalk her until we catch her pulling cocklebur out of her behind!”
As tempting as Trudy’s suggestion is, I’m not sure that blackmail is the answer. We do have standards after all.