December 14, 2014 – I was in the truck today, heading over to the grain store to pick up the new dehydrator system we need to make more worm jerky. Some of the ladies think it will be the perfect product to pair with our craft beer.
“It’s a sensational sales strategy,” I remember Addie saying over a cup of tea in the conference room. “This will get us into the retail market and really expand the Happy Chicken Brewing Company brand. A display of your worm jerky will accompany and promote every shelf of our beer. We’ll start with jerky, then move on to Sawyer’s scones.”
“Scones and beer?” I remember asking the brainy buff.
“Good point,” she replied gnawing on the end of a pencil. “Tea! We’ll branch into tea and the scones will pair perfectly!”
Addie was always thinking. Like when I mentioned to her, that the ground was frozen, which is why I put up my personal supply of worm jerky in the fall. But Addie already had a solution to the limited availability of nightcrawlers.
“Is the ground frozen in California or Australia? We’ll import them wholesale. Then when it’s springtime in New England, we’ll start our own worm farm and put away enough to cover next year’s winter production. Problem solved.”
So, off I went to the grain store to pick up the dehydrator system we would need to manage the inventory of worm jerky that Addie had set as our launch target. She stayed behind to place the worm order from a pleasant farmer in Florida. They won’t be the native worms that I’m used to working with, so I don’t know how the taste will be, but I’m up for a test run. There are so many varieties to choose from! Red Wigglers, European and Canadian nightcrawlers, Alabama Jumpers. I asked her to ask the farmer for the worms that most resemble the ones that rise to the surface of the grass behind the shed after a heavy rainstorm. I find those to be the tastiest.
Anyway, the point of my post has nothing to do with worms, except for the fact that I was on my way to the grain store when the incident occurred. I was trying to hurry, since the store was only open for limited hours today. Wouldn’t you know it, I got behind the slowest driver in the world! She was driving 1o miles under the speed limit on the back road from our house into town. There was no room to pass, so I was stuck behind her for the entire route! A line of 10 vehicles followed behind me, the drivers craning their necks around my truck to see what the hold up was. Finally, we came to a four-way intersection. The one with the blinking yellow light near the ice cream parlor. A left hand directional flashed on the slow car. Since I was going straight, I moved up next to it on the right. While I waited for a break in traffic, I turned to take a look at who the slow-poke was.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” I hollered, recognizing the other driver. It was none other than my arch nemesis from the public library, Eunice. She must have felt the heat of my gaze, because she turned her head to the right and locked her eyes on mine. Immediately, her hands flew in the air and she let out her customary blood-curdling scream. I didn’t need the windows down to hear her. She whipped her head forward and stepped on the gas pedal, flooring it through the intersection without it truly being safe to do so. She was nearly sideswiped by a delivery truck. I watched her fly down Main Street until the car went around a bend out of sight.
“Now why couldn’t you have driven that way down the back road, Eunice?!” I hollered through the glass. Then I realized how unsightly my yelling must seem to the drivers behind me, so I let go of my frustration and focused on getting to the grain store before closing time.
Eunice. She and I have to settle this once and for all. I think I will pay her a surprise visit tomorrow at the library. It is after all, the season of peace and goodwill. Still… not a bad idea to bring backup, just in case things get dicey.