March 12, 2015 – My head is still reeling over winning the election for Library Trustee. I spent most of yesterday resting and washing off all the primp and spit wax the girls dolled me up in. I gave Charlotte back the borrowed pearls and hung my colander helmet on the hook by the door. It felt good to be naked in my own feathers. I wasn’t quite sure what to do next. The good people who ran the voting station over at the middle school, informed me that my first responsibility is to attend the Library Trustee Meeting on the 15th of April in the second floor conference room at the library. It is there where I will be introduced to the rest of the committee and be assigned my first official duty as the newest representative of this prestigious post.
Surely, I should be doing something in the meantime. But what?!
I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood to clear my head and reflect upon this most fortuitous life I am living. As luck would have it, many of our neighbors had already put their recycling bins out by the street ahead of tomorrow’s trash pick up. What harm would it do to poke my head inside a few containers as I decompress from a vibrant election run? I hadn’t passed three houses when a shiny glare, bouncing off something inside the Albetski’s blue recycling bin, caught my attention.
Ooooh… what is this?! I asked, reaching in and carefully extracting the gleaming item from its most unfortunate berth. Other individuals walking by this treasure box, might have mistaken the shimmering glass orb as an unwanted garden globe. But I held in my wings a stunning crystal ball. I leaned closer until my reflection appeared. My features looked disproportionate to their actual size. I laughed at the enormity of my beak and the tiny hazel specks that sat at equal distance in the horizon. I wondered if the ball still held any of its magical powers.
“Hello, mystical ball of clairvoyance. Can you see me? I usually use tea leaves myself, but I bet I can incorporate a crystal ball into my fortune telling services. Let’s see… what question shall I ask? I know! How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?”
I waited for a message to appear. Nothing. Perhaps the glass was dirty. I spit straight at the thing and rubbed it dry with my elbow. Much better.
“Alright, teller of fortunes. Let’s try this. Is my involvement with Eunice behind me once and for all?”
A dark, shadowy wave washed over the ball. I stared into the hazy film waiting for it to clear. As it did, I could see white clouds and a bright blue sky reflecting back at me.
This looks promising! I told myself. Suddenly, the brilliance faded and another shadow rolled in, blocking all reflections.
“HEY, WATCHYA DOIN’?” asked a voice from behind.
I screamed as if Wilma had just pecked me hard in the lady parts and threw the crystal ball into the air. It smashed into a hundred shards at the foot of the mailbox.
“Aww, Hap… you broke your giant eyeball. I’m sorry. Did I scare you?”
It was Peaches, out for a walk with her pet stick. Now I would never know the answer to my question. Peaches helped me clean up the glass and throw the pieces back into the recycling bin. Oh well. Easy come, easy go. I guess I am meant to read fortunes only from the dregs of a teacup.
“By the way,” Peaches remarked nonchalantly when we were nearly done. “I heard over Wilma’s police scanner that Eunice escaped from jail before they had a chance to charge her with anything. There’s an APB out on her. Evidently, Eunice has been making threats that she’s coming after you and Sawyer. The flock sent me to find you. You’re both on official lockdown until further notice.”
“Wilma has a police scanner?”
“Well, it’s really the two blue jays who sit outside the station window. They overheard the commotion and sent Wilma a text. It was an inside job. The police saw Eunice’s sister, the dispatcher, on surveillance camera letting her go. I liked her. She gave me a coconut cookie at the voting station. Alright then, I’ll be on my way.”
With that, Peaches turned and left for home.
“WHAT ABOUT MY SECURITY DETAIL?” I called after her. But by then, Peaches was already singing along to her own song and didn’t hear a word I said.
This can’t be good. A broken mystical orb and a deranged bandit on the loose with me and Sawyer in her sights…?
I grabbed an old shower head from the recycling bin and twisted it to the top of a broom handle that was sticking out of the trash barrel. Dang! Why didn’t I grab my colander helmet before I left?!
I made it home 20 minutes later, darting in and out from behind trees and boulders. Bo immediately pulled me into an emergency meeting of the Chickens Citizens Patrol Board. There, it was unanimously decided, that until Eunice is apprehended, Sawyer and I are to take up residence in the conference room of the Happy Chicken Brewing Company. I suggested staying inside the house with Mom, but that got voted down. Addie said that we can’t trust Sugar Plum. The shifty feline, wouldn’t think twice about handing us over to Eunice in return for a smidgen of tuna and a plastic bottle cap. Last year, we installed a sophisticated alarm system at the brewery to ward off intrusive felines and anyone attempting to pilfer our secret recipes. It won’t be homey, but at least it will be safe. I barely had time to gather my worm jerky and velvet pouch of quarters for the vending machine before Bo ushered us into a sled and shot us down the hill into the woods where Tim and Wilma were waiting to escort us into the building. A few seconds ago, Sawyer and I watched the motorcade of roosters and hens make their way back to the chicken yard and secure themselves into the coops for the night. This is not how I saw the day ending.
“Blueberry scone,” asked Sawyer, handing over one of her homemade delights.
“Don’t mind if I do,” I replied, washing it down with a shot of our very own moonshine.
Neither one of us are drinkers, but with Eunice on the run, Sawyer and I needed something to steady our nerves.
I helped Sawyer tighten the strap of her colander helmet before we hunkered down under the conference table with a wooden stirring ladle and a headlamp for protection. This is going to be a long night.